


Stjerneklart

by YourShadow



Series: Schadenfreude [9]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Norwegian, Starlit, fanfic giveaway winner, for throughthesmokeandfog from tumblr, implied suicide, prompt, slight sequel to Mein Teil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 06:33:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3317567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourShadow/pseuds/YourShadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yes, they finally defeated the titans, but at what cost? </p><p>Eren has one final mission to complete before he can achieve true victory over the titans, and Armin knows all too well what that means.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stjerneklart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wolfborg007](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfborg007/gifts).



> Disclaimer: Isayama is the cruel, cruel god who created Attack on Titan. I am but a lowly wood nymph attempting to replicate the sorrow he so lovingly bestows upon us.
> 
> Warning: Mentions of/implied suicide, graphic depictions of violence, and major character death.
> 
> This is for throughthesmokeandfog on tumblr, who is the winner of the second prize for my Fanfiction Giveaway! This prize was to incorporate the prompt into an existing fic or series, and the prompt was just perfect for Schadenfreude! I took a ‘throwaway’ line in Mein Teil and pretty much made it its own thing, so enjoy~

_Starlit_

It was the clearest night they ever saw. Each star seemed to shine just a little brighter, as if celebrating with them.

“We did it! We finally killed all of the titans! We won! We’re free!”

Shouts filled the night sky as fists and bottles of frothing liquid were thrust into the crisp air. Some were laughing, some were crying. What was left of them, anyway.

Yes, they finally defeated the titans, but at what cost? So many of them were dead and gone now. It almost seemed a hollow victory, considering what they had lost in order to achieve it. No one said it, but they all wished their leaders were still there to rejoice with them, under different circumstances than when they left them.

It wasn’t too long ago that a brutal battle took place, which ultimately decided the fate of humanity, turning the war in their favor. Armin remembered it clearly—too clearly, in fact, that it pained him to relive the memory.

But he did, to honor them.

_Eren had his hands wrapped around his former commander’s head and was pulling. There was carnage all around them, but most everyone was watching this one fight. Erwin Smith, revealed to be a titan, stilled as Eren’s grip tightened on his face. He stilled, and he waited, and then his head was torn from his neck and shoulders, hoisted high into the air in Eren’s fist. The Rogue Titan let out a roar of victory, planting his foot on the decomposing body._

Armin flinched. He remembered when he first saw Erwin’s titan form, when he first realized his Commander was a traitor in disguise. And he remembered how his Captain, Levi, faired in the fight.

_They were all holding their breath. Captain versus Commander, Humanity’s Strongest versus Humanity’s Leader. But Armin could tell, before Levi even dropped his swords, where this fight was heading. He could see it in his Levi’s eyes._

_He raised his fist to his heart, tears blurring his vision, after he saw his captain slain by the one man he trusted the most. The one man they all trusted the most. As the captain’s dull eyes swept over him, he felt lost. This was not supposed to be his end. None of this was supposed to happen. How could it all have gone so wrong?_

After that battle, so many members of their former squad were simply gone. Not just dead, not just missing, but _gone_. The last time he saw most of them was at the Captain’s funeral.

_A dirge was playing, sad and low, as Levi’s body was carried to the funeral pyre. Hange lead the procession, having taken charge of Levi’s body and last rites. Hange was the one who carried him up the steps and laid him down. He was so pale, paler than Armin had ever seen him. They buried him in his full uniform, the utmost respect given for his life. And they saluted, until the burning embers died down, and there was nothing left of their former captain except for ashes and brittle bones. Charred remains of the man who inspired them, lead them, and cared for them._

_Hange turned, silent throughout the entire ordeal, and walked away. No one moved to stop the squad leader and former commander; no one said a word. They simply watched, still saluting, until Hange, too, was gone. Disappeared. Never to be seen or heard from again._

Armin knew Hange went off to die. He could feel them all dying around him. That’s why he knew, when Eren stood, where he was going to go, and what he was about to do. He was the last titan, after all. They weren’t truly defeated until his life ceased. It didn’t matter that his comrades patted him on the back, congratulating him on landing the final blow to Mankind’s Enemy. It didn’t matter that they saw him as a human being, as a soldier, and most importantly, as a friend. It didn’t matter that they told him he could live, that he deserved it, that he earned the right to life a hundred times over.

Armin watched him go, felt others watching him, and wondered who would accept the task. But there was no one else. Only ghosts and memories.

So he stood, and followed.

*** 

“Don’t try to stop me.”

Armin wasn’t surprised that Eren sensed his presence. He remained at a distance as they walked through the woods, but he wasn’t trying to hide. He kept waiting for Eren to turn around, to confront him, but his childhood friend continued walking, staring straight ahead, until they were among the trees and darkness. It was darker, here, and quiet. They could no longer hear the rousing cries of the remaining members of society, cheering for their future.

This was a good place to die, Armin thought. But not for Eren. Not now, after all they went through, after all that happened.

“I won’t let you.” He said softly.

“It’s not your choice. Humanity will never be free until the last titan is gone. I am the last titan.” Eren had that determined look on his face, but his eyes were dead and empty. There was no fire in his voice, only the knowledge of oncoming death.

“No.” Armin said sharply, stepping forward. “You’re not a titan. You’re Eren Jaeger.” Eren glared at him, lifting his hand to show off the permanent scars from his bite marks. He had more scars, too, from battles against the titans and Erwin’s soldiers. Scars that even his healing abilities could not fade. Armin clasped his hand, holding it tightly, covering up the marks. “It’s over. You fought so hard for this, you should live to see the future with us. There aren’t many of us left, Eren. We’re all we have.”

“I don’t deserve it.” Eren snapped. Before Armin could refute him, he continued. “I made a vow, back when they broke the wall. Back when I watched my mother die at the hands of a titan. You were there, Armin. You remember my words. ‘I’m going to kill all of the titans. Every last one of them, until none are left.’ I joined the Survey Corps to fulfil that dream. I wasn’t going to stop, even when I found out I was a monster too. It was always going to end this way for me, one way or the other.”

Armin saw the blade, catching against the light of the bright stars, as Eren lifted it.

“No.” he whispered. Swallowing, he said in a rush, “Eren, you’re not a monster, you’re my friend. Please. Everyone else is gone. Don’t leave me alone here. Don’t leave me.” He could feel the tears streaming down his face, could feel the heat beneath his cheeks, his breath coming out hot and ragged.

Eren’s face was stony, set, and unwavering. He looked how he always looked, except older and darker and far less than he once was. Even though his body was still alive, he was already dead inside. It was foolish and selfish for Armin to think he would stay just for him. But he could hope, and allow a small moment of greed to take over his heart.

“Let go, Armin.” His friend whispered fiercely.

“No.” Armin whimpered, blinking past the tears.

“ _Let go_.”

“Never.”

“You need to live—,”

“Not without you—,”

“—you need to live so others will know what happened here.”

Armin’s breath caught. He squeezed his eyes shut, still holding onto Eren’s hand tightly. The words swirled around inside his head.

“You were meant to survive. You were always the one to outlive us all. Now live. For us. For me.” Eren said softly.

Armin stumbled, opening his eyes wide and staring at the scarred hand still clutching tightly between his own fists. Eren had cut it off at the wrist, taking a step back to angle the blade across his neck. Armin could only stare in horror, mouth wide, the beginning of a scream clawing its way up his throat as he gasped for air.

“Goodbye, Armin.” Eren whispered, and for a moment his friend was there, in his eyes, like they were when they were kids. Just kids, playing in the fields, reading his grandfather’s books, beating off bullies. He was there, and they were safe, and titans were but a distant nightmare beyond the walls.

Screams pierced the night as Eren pressed the blade to his throat and cut deep, pressing hard enough to sever his own spinal cord. His head tumbled to the ground, and the thumping noise as it rolled and bumped into a nearby tree would always remind Armin of the way apples sounded when they fell.

He was reaching, just as he did when he thought Eren died the first time, back when they were barely out of training, when the titans breached the walls once again. He was reaching, as if about to take Eren’s hand from inside the titan’s mouth, as if he could just clasp their fingers together and pull him out. But the teeth snapped shut, and Eren’s hand flew toward him, and Armin was left alone, screaming, choking on his tears.

And Eren would not regenerate this time. He would not burst forth from the titan’s maw, roaring in rage, destroying everything in his path. Armin was truly, finally, alone. He knelt, his hand mere inches away from his friend’s body, beneath the dark, clear sky filled with stars.

The only one left of the 104th Trainee Squad. The last remaining member of the Survey Corps.

Clutching his hand to his chest, he decided to live, as Eren told him to, for all of them.

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: First, a note about the phrase used: Stjerneklart is Norwegian, and while it can be loosely translated to ‘Starlit,’ it is also used to describe ‘A dark, quiet, and clear sky in which the night is filled and illuminated only by stars’ (also when something is obvious) so I played with that as much as possible. 
> 
> I can never kill Armin. It will never happen. Seriously I can’t kill him it’s like against the law of Isayama.
> 
> Also yeah Armin was kind of imagining the celebration in his head, although there were other soldiers there who were actually celebrating. Just not any of the original squad members.
> 
> To throughthesmokeandfog: I really enjoyed your prompt, so I hope you like this, dear!


End file.
